Gone are the days when elopements were something NOT talked about with enthusiasm or in a positive light. Years ago, elopements were thought to be a rushed affair with little time to put something together and a courthouse time slot to seal the deal.

You still might need a marriage civic ceremony appointment ( I highly recommend the dreamy light-filled San Francisco City Hall when it re-opens ), but if the COVID times put anything into perspective for us, it’s that our partners and closest loved ones are what matter most, not the huge events.

As a bride in 2020, and on the ground with many others in the wedding industry as a professional photographer, I saw a shift in possibilities. A destination didn’t HAVE to be in another country. Romantic details could be scaled down for an intimate, memorable experience. Loved ones COULD participate live over video streaming.

One of the concerns I’ve heard most from brides is pushback from parents that have visions of their child getting married surrounded by friends, families, and every person they could find in their address book. A lot of times, weddings end up being more for parents or others than they do for the couple. In 2020 we saw that a scaled down affair could work and we didn’t have to isolate others from the experience with new technology available. Below are my tips for how to start navigate through “the talk.”

• Tell your parents in-person if at all possible, and the sooner the better. Be prepared for some potential tears, disappointment and pushback. The way through this is just time.
• Share all the reasons why you’d like to elope and why a traditional wedding isn’t for you. This will help gain their support and help them see things through your perspective. Money might be a factor but don’t lead with it as they will usually retort back with how they can scrounge up enough, and that’s typically not the main reason in the first place.
• Whether or not you have them present at your elopement (Which I personally consider an elopement less than 10 people), perhaps get them involved. If not in every element, maybe the outfit fittings or helping plan a portion to help them feel included.
• Share the event live on video streaming or have it recorded (Which can be done through Zoom or other professional services) so you can share with loved ones that couldn’t make it. You could also just share the photos of the event through a digital album which is easily deliverable.
• Remember to stand your ground. At the end of the day it’s your decision. How the both of you want to spend the day is what’s most important. You could always have a separate event for friends and family or an anniversary party to still see loved ones (when safe to do so).

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Final Thoughts

A few benefits I’ve personally seen on why choosing the elopement route works for couples is having the freedom to do things your own way and get married at a place that is special to you and reflects your personality. Keeping costs down while still creating beautiful moments with your clothing, ceremony details, and personal touches. And lastly, by bringing together the most special people in your life together to witness a very personal and intimate time in your life that is filled with your hearts and vows without the anxiety of a huge timeline of “what’s next.” You do you, boo.

If you’re looking for an Elopement Photographer to help guide you, reach out now to contact@iannivy.com to get started.